The Journey of the Rider and His Dragon: Learning to Coexist with Our Fears
The Journey of the Rider and His Dragon: Learning to Coexist with Our Fears
A Companion Instead of an Enemy?
In life, we all face challenges, fears, and internal voices that can make us question ourselves. I invite you to reflect on a moment when you felt overwhelmed by anxiety before an important presentation, a difficult conversation, or even when trying to make a significant decision in your life. This is where the metaphor of the dragon and the rider comes into play. Your dragon represents those fears and instinctive responses, while the rider symbolizes your consciousness, beautiful and brave, guiding your dragon with clarity. Today, you will discover how these two can coexist in harmony and how you can make your dragon your ally instead of your enemy.
“Fear is not your shadow or your burden. It is your flying companion.”
This phrase resonates deeply, as we have been programmed to fear our own fears. However, instead of fleeing from them, what if we start to listen to them? What if these dragons we carry inside have something to teach us? I would like to share with you the story of Laura, a young woman who, like many of us, struggled with anxiety and constant self-criticism.
Laura's Story: A Journey Towards Self-Compassion.
Laura was a brilliant university student. However, every time she had to present a project in front of her class, she found herself paralyzed by overwhelming and relentless fear. During one of these presentations, her mind started screaming: “You are not going to be enough, they are going to laugh at you!” She felt trapped, as if her dragon, which symbolized her fear and anxiety, had her in its grip, unable to move forward. Laura began to do some internal work. She learned to approach this dragon and listen to what it had to say. Instead of fighting against it, she began to observe it, recognizing it. Over time, this dragon became her companion. Now, although she still feels a slight nervousness before presenting, she can execute her skills because she has learned to guide her dragon.
What is Happening Inside Us?
When we feel fear, our reptilian brain takes control. This is why we feel automatic and disproportionate reactions in situations that feel threatening. From a neuropsychological perspective, the brain has defense mechanisms that often drive us to flee or fight. This is an ancestral response that served our ancestors in situations of real danger. However, we live in a world where, although these instincts are necessary, they are not always useful. Often, the dragon - our reptilian brain - responds from fear, which can cause you to react disproportionately to situations that are not actually threatening. This is why, by listening to and learning to guide the dragon, you realize that you are not broken. Your dragon is just poorly trained.
How to Guide Your Dragon?
One of the most effective tools in this process is what we call reins. These are the ways in which you can focus your dragon's attention, helping it understand that there are different paths to take. The verbal rein is an excellent start. Instead of saying “I have to do this,” start telling yourself “I choose to do this.” This transforms the narrative from obligation to one of choice and empowerment. Another powerful tool is the emotional rein. Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” Name your emotions as visitors, not identities, allowing them to flow without overwhelming your being. Finally, establish a contract with yourself. Acknowledge that “what I am and have is already enough.” Every small change in your self-talk can make a significant difference within you.
Practice Makes Perfect
Establishing a weyr where you can practice your relationship with yourself is crucial. It's not about a sacred place, but a space where you can return to yourself. It can be anywhere: your desk, a park, or simply a page in your notebook. What matters is that you return to your contracts and reins there. Remember, a rider who does not practice... forgets how to guide!
The Power of Self-Exploration
I propose an exercise: close your eyes and take a deep breath. Then, make a list of phrases that your dragon repeats every time you feel you have failed. Ask yourself how you would change those phrases if you were speaking to someone you love. Write them down and allow these new affirmations to resonate within you. This internal connection exercise can strengthen your bond with the dragon, allowing it to understand that although it can be a terrifying companion, it also has the potential to be an ally.
Your Journey Begins Now
As we have seen through Laura's story and the journey we can all take, fear is not our enemy. It is a part of us that seeks to keep us safe. When you learn to listen to and dialogue with your dragon instead of fighting against it, you will discover a new level of peace and self-acceptance. Laura is not just another student; she is someone who has learned to fly with her dragon, choosing her destiny instead of letting her fears limit her.
A First Step Towards A New Beginning
If something resonated with you today, take the next step. Schedule a session with me, Tuyo Isaza, download the Dragons book, or start a course. Beyond the words is the path that has already been laid by others before you. What remains is for you to encourage yourself to take that step towards the transformation you long for.
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